Don’t forget about you.

This is a very sensitive topic that I understand can trigger all kinds of anxieties, fears and doubts. As silly as it may seem one of the biggest problems we face is accepting that it is okay to choose ourselves over anything else. Not everyone understands this and many people criticize it when they see it from the outside.

I recently came across a very interesting text in which it said:

"Your mental health is more important than your career, money, other people's opinions, that event you said you would attend, your partner's mood or your family's wishes. If taking care of yourself means disappointing someone else, don't hesitate for a second, disappoint them."

I was shocked to read the final phrase "disappoint them" because it is something that is always on our mind, not to disappoint the people we love. Amazing how human beings have so much trouble finding a balance, some only think of themselves in a selfish way and others simply give their whole being without measuring consequences. Definitely yes, sometimes our decisions will disappoint those around us, but if those decisions make us feel free and at peace, they are completely worth it.

One important reminder is to keep in mind that the only ones who live in our mind are ourselves and, if we don't feel good about what we have there, then we should meditate on what is affecting us and how to resolve it. Saying "no" is an option no matter if that generates an impact of rejection, you are watching over your mental health and that is not something silly, so whoever loves you will understand and respect your decisions. People around you can give you their perspective, but the final decision should always be yours.

Yes, sometimes we must cut relationships for mental health and start over, sometimes we will have to walk away from that "friend, cousin, uncle, etc." that makes us feel weird. Reconsider whether the job you have is making you happy or say out loud that you prefer someone of your own sex and move on without hiding it. You have to own your life, no one else will do it for you.

One day I heard "You are going to choose you even if it means that you take everything in your way?", after meditating a bit I said, "Yes, I'm tired of choosing others". There you realize that no one can have the remotest idea of what is going on inside you. You can pretend and fool everyone by faking that you are fine until you get home, lie in bed and cry in loneliness because in your mind everything is the opposite. No one knows the internal battles you are dealing with.

Many will be surprised by your decisions and even question if it's really what you want (they will think they know better). Don't be offended, remember that it was you who decided to pretend that everything was fine and that you were a "certain way" to make them happy. Changes take time and adapting is not easy.

When you start living according to what makes you happy and gives you peace you will feel funny, you will feel like you "broke the code of the life you were supposed to live". It's completely normal, you will get used to it gradually and that feeling will disappear. A symbol that you are better? Those blank moments when you just smile because you feel good and you don't know why. Those are my favorite moments.

Choose yourself a thousand times. Set boundaries and learn to respect them. Protect yourself even from yourself (you can make the same mistakes again). Live and love who you are and what you like. Be proud of who you are and recover the admiration you feel for you. Be the best version of yourself and enjoy it. You will find that, by doing all of this, your surroundings will change for the better. You never lose if you work on yourself and feed the best of your essence.

Don't forget that those who love you will support you and be there for you no matter what as long as you are happy.

Key.